Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, May 22, 2015

The Choice Is Clear!!

Hard To Tell Which One's Got The Bigger Schvantz...

I'll probably regret making this.

It'll either give y'all a giggle, or send you into apoplectic fits.

Either way, I'm OK with it...

(Click To Embiggenate!)
 

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

A Matter Of Timing

I Suppose I Could Live In A Tent On The Back Deck

Y'know, life's got a way of sticking it in ya, then breaking off the handle...

Case in point:

Some time back, I posted about my desire to take an old truck frame and make a parade float/art car/weekend boozer cruiser out of it.

Aside from some poking around on Craigslist, that's as far as it got.  I didn't have the space to store it, nor the money to afford it.

Now, flash forward 6 years.  Got enough money saved to buy an old truck.
Look what appears on eBay:

What do you do with a motorhome that loses a fight with a tree?


Why, you make a flatbed out of it!





What's even better, you put it on eBay for the low price of $1800.

OK, bus ticket to Utah, $200.  200 gallons of diesel,  $600.  Call it $3000 total to get it back to Houston...  Even got a holiday weekend coming up!

BUT...

I'm buying that house!!  I have no money anymore!

DAMNDAMNDAMNDAMN!!!!

Life, she can be cruel at times.





Friday, May 15, 2015

Bring The Pain!

Masochists Get Their Very Own Carry Gun!

Here's a fine example of a revolver that I'd just as soon let someone else shoot!

Putting a full-load Magnum cartridge in a snubby pistol is always a hair-raising experience.  The recoil can be -erm- energetic, and the resulting flash & blast can illuminate a cavern.

To make matters more fun, you can lighten up the gun for concealed carry.  Use a titanium cylinder and Scandium frame.  Composite grips.  Hell, even a plastic tube for a front sight.  Bet the thing only weighs 14 oz unloaded...

Note the kind warning asking for a minimum bullet weight of 120 grains.  Any less than that, and the recoil causes the lighter bullets to "walk" out of their seats, either forwards and tying up the cylinder, or backwards, boosting pressure until the cylinder grenades on you.

All I can say concerning firing such a specimen is this...

Have some shooting gloves at the time, and a tube of Ben Gay and a bottle of Tylenol for afterwards.  You're definitely pushing some finger bones out of alignment!

All this pain for $880 at Collector's Firearms.


Thursday, May 07, 2015

'Murica! Love It Or Leave It!!

In This Case, Just Leave It.  Please.

Well, I've seen some hideous paint jobs on pistols before, but this one really goes above & beyond the call of duty.

For those days when flying Old Glory just ain't enough, here's a $1200 Beretta 92 in red, white & blue.  Courtesy of the fine folks at Collector's Firearms, who should have dropped it in a bucket of turpentine.

Be sure and put in in a matching holster!


Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Sign On The Dotted Line!

KEEP SIGNING, YOU WHINING P#SSY!!



Just got a thick packet of documents from the mortgage lending folks.

Check this shit out.  Bear in mind this is the required stack of paperwork for a single guy with decent credit, only one job, and no other income sources:

* Credit Card Authorizaton for Appraisal
* 1003 - URLA
* HUD/V.A. Addendum to Uniform Residential Loan Application
* Good Faith Estimate
* Settlement Service List of Providers
* Acknowledgement of Receipt of Good Faith Estimate
* Federal Truth-in-Lending Disclosure Statement
* Affiliated Business Disclosure
* Borrower's Certification & Authorization
* Credit Score Disclosure
* Disclosure Notices
* Equal Credit Opportunity Act Notice
* Fair Credit Reporting Act
* FACT Act Disclosure
* Acknowledgement of Intent to Proceed
* Undisclosed Debt Acknowledgement Obligation
* Undisclosed Debt Obligation
* Itemization of Amount Financed
* Mortgage Fraud is Investigated by the FBI
* Notice of Furnishing Negative Information
* Notice of Right to Copy of Appraisal (HPML)
* Privacy Policy
* Servicing Disclosure Statement
* Social Security Administration Authorization
* Mortgage Banker Disclosure
* TX Right to Choose Insurance Provider
* Hazard Insurance Authorization, Requirements and Disclosure
* USA Patriot Act Information Disclosure
* Notice of Right to Receive Copy of Written Appraisal/Valuation
* Homeownership Counseling Org List
* Homeownership Counseling Acknowledgment
* FHA Amendatory Statement and Real Estate Certification
* FHA For Your Protection: Get a Home Inspection
* FHA Identity of Interest Certification
* FHA Important Notice to Homebuyers
* FHA Informed Consumer Choice Disclosure Notice
* FHA Notice to Homeowner
* FHA/V.A. Notice to Applicants
* HUD Appraised Value Disclosure
* No HUD Warranty
* Occupancy and Financial Statement
* Social Security Number Certification
* Appraisal Report for Lender's Use Disclosure (Dodd-Frank)
* Notice to Right to Copy of Appraisal
* TX Mortgage Banker Disclosure
* IRS 4506T - Request for Transcript of Tax Return
* WBM Needs List


Bloody hell...

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Happy Trails, Jerry!

Another Blogger Shuts It Down For Keeps...

Word came in from the Book of Face that the Confabulator (who also ran Drannak's Dribbles) has passed away.

Confabulator, (Jerry Kannard), had been in declining health for some time, and was living in an assisted care facility in Oklahoma, if my memory serves me correctly.

I got to meet Jerry once or twice at some of the Texas blogmeets.  Really sharp guy, with good technical chops.  Moved kinda slow, but, hell, so do I.

Glad I was able to make your acquaintance, Jerry!  You'll be missed!

Thursday, April 23, 2015

More House

Pennies From Heaven?  Now's A Good Time For That!

Filled out another stack of paperwork today.  Gonna cost me $250 to turn on the water/gas/electric just long enough to get the inspection done.

Of course, that inspection is another $350...

Sigh.   Here's a reminder of why I'm forking out the $$$:

(click to embiggenate)